Rough tww

So I'm only five days into my first tww and it already sucks. I'm actually not thinking about it all to much, lots of other things on my mind.





My mom died almost 6 weeks ago. My relationship with her was very love/hate. We fought hard, we always made up eventually. Not this time. It's constantly on my mind that we wern't speaking at her death. I miss her so much and would do almost anything to be able to tell her I love her one more time.





Most women in the tww arer always asking themselves, is this a PMS or pregnancy symptom. I have to ask myself, is this a pregnancy symptom, PMS, or grief. When I cry randomly is it hormones or missing my mom. Nausea, Headaches, indegestion, gas. These are all things that could go both ways, or all three ways rather.





So anyway, I guess I'll symptom spot for five minutes. Only things that have started today. My nipples are sore, but they have been for a week now, since before ovulation. Ok, that feeling in your stomach when it growls, that kinda bubble rolling around feeling...that, in my pelvic area. Yeah. that's it.

Another item of ickiness. Hubby and I had a pretty bad fight last night. We made up before bed, and honestly it wasn't much of a fight as her agreed with everything I said. It's so hard to stay mad at him when he calls himself on everything I was gonna call him on. Basically it stems from him spending to much time at work. 11 hours a day, at least 6 days a week. Then he goes out drinking with co-workers and doesn't let me know. I really don't care if he goes, I just wanna know so I don't make dinner for him to early.

He thinks it stems from his job and while he loves working on cars, he hates working in a shop. When we move in 2 months he plans to go back into security. Most likely armed security, which scares the crap out of me, but thats a whole nother post.

So sorry for the ranty post (if anyone even read this). Will try to stay sane for the next nine days